For this week’s blog, Crime Cymru’s Rachel Morris gives us an excerpt from her novel Back in 5, the first in a seven-part fiction series focussing on DS Seren Parry, mostly solving (or not) missing persons cases, mostly set in North Wales

Andrew looked straight ahead and tried to stop glancing sideways at Seren. He didn’t know her very well yet, so wasn’t in a position to know whether she had changed. She had, though, he was sure of it. Towards him, at least.

Seren started doing that annoying tapping thing on the steering wheel with her ring, but just as quickly stopped. She must have known it was annoying before, but now she seemed bothered by that. Thank christ.

The silence was becoming not comfy.

‘That’s an interesting ring you wear, Seren. Is it an heirloom?’

Seren was startled into a truthful answer. ‘No, a weapon.’

‘You what, now?’

‘I don’t have any heirlooms. My mother wouldn’t trust me with them. Anything of value she doesn’t want anymore she gives to my perfect sister.’

‘Ah.’ Andrew hadn’t really bargained for an actual, personal conversation.

A silence.

‘I have a thing for vintage, see. I like lovely old things. Love them. Maybe too much. I have … quite a lot of them. At home.’

‘That’s a particular favourite of yours though, I think? You’ve been wearing it every day. Is it made of brass? It looks like brass.’

‘Yes, and that’s why I wear it every day. I wasn’t pulling your leg when I said it’s a weapon.’

Andrew took a harder look at it. ‘It’s a rose.’

‘Yes, a brass rose. A vintage brass rose. Brass knuckles are against regs, but if you make the brass flower-shaped, all pretty … well, then, that’s different, innit?’

Andrew sat up straighter. ‘Have you ever had cause to use it?’

‘Had cause?’ Seren laughed. ‘You sound like you’re interviewing a perp, Andrew. But I suppose I am one, in a way. Because the answer’s yes, just the once. So far. Not on duty. On a night out in Manchester. He didn’t know what he was dealing with. He learned soon enough, though.’

Andrew snuck another look at the ring. Pretty.

‘Plus,’ she said, ‘it goes with everything.’

There was silence again, comfier this time.

‘Size does matter, you know,’ said Seren.

‘Um. Uhhh …’

‘Oh, sorry, that could have been misconstrued, I suppose.’ Seren laughed. Andrew blushed. ‘What I mean is. There’s all this talk of, anything men can do, women can do backwards and in heels, because we have to. And then on the other side of that coin you get people like Valley, DC Hughes, I mean, saying that women shouldn’t be working in a cop shop unless they’re in the canteen or answering the phones. That we don’t have the reflexes, we can’t see over the steering wheel, blah blah blah. That is of course an absolute load of bollocks, and most people know it.’

‘Yes.’

‘But there is some truth buried down in that pile of shite, though I’d admit it to very few people.’

‘How so?’

‘When I was in uniform, in Cheshire, I was called out to a burglary on my patch. I’d just got there and started talking to the homeowner, single woman living alone, trying to reassure her, when there was a funny noise from another room. She went as white as a sheet. The thieving bastard was still in the bloody house! He’d been there the whole time since she got home and saw there’d been a B and E and made the call and then waited for me to turn up. That whole time.’

‘Christ.’

‘Yeah! The noise was him trying to leg it out the back. Poor woman was freeeeeaked the hell out. Anyroad, I took off after him, he was a lumbering piece of meat, and I’m pretty nimble, caught up with him no probs. But then I was like a dog I saw in the park once. Chased a squirrel, actually caught it, then didn’t know what to do with it, did it? I’ve cornered this wanker but there’s no back up and he’s twice my size. More. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’m quite titchy?’

‘I had noticed, yes. So what did you do?’

‘I leapt onto his back.’

‘You didn’t!’

‘I did. Oh shit. Shit. Ahhh! Sorry. I’ve been warned not to be so sweary on the job before but I just can’t seem to help myself.’

Andrew shrugged.

‘Anyway. I did. What else could I do? I jumped on his back, and then clung on there, limbs akimbo, like a bloomin’ monkey, or like a little kid getting a piggyback off her dad. And then I … slid off, still holding onto his coat. He just took his coat off! And me and his coat just slid off together onto the ground. Into a puddle. Naturally.’

Andrew started laughing. So did Seren.

‘I’m just lying there laughing, getting wet and filthy, and he’s laughing, too, the tosser, and then he takes off. We collared him anyway, in no time, of course. You know as well as I do that very few crims are anything but brainless. And drug-addled, more often than not.’

Andrew nodded.

‘This bright spark gave a false name and address. But he had IDs and dole slips with his name and address on them in his coat pockets. Muppet.’

Andrew laughed again.

‘But yeah. Oh. What was my point?’

‘Size matters.’

‘Oh right. Well, it does too. And if you tell anyone, anyone, I said that, ever, I’ll hit you right in your pretty face with my aggressive accessory, okay Andrew?’ Seren shook her fist cartoonishly.

‘Duly noted. Seren?’

‘Yes, Andrew?’

‘You’ve started calling me Andrew.’

‘Yes.’

‘Instead of Andy, I mean.’

‘Yes.’

‘Thank you. Um. Why?’

‘I guess I got bored with teasing you? And Andy doesn’t really suit you? Oh, and. You handled DC Hughes yesterday at the scene, got him off my case. Plus! Terrific tea you make. Thanks for that. Quid pro quo and all that.’

Andrew wasn’t entirely convinced that Seren was speaking the truth. Not the whole truth, at any rate. But he let it drop for the time being, not least because they were turning into Liliwen’s dead-end road.

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This is an extract from Rachel’s novel Back in 5, the first in a seven-part fiction series focussing on DS Seren Parry, mostly solving (or not) missing persons cases, mostly set in North Wales. It has been described by ‘media matchmakers’ at Quais de Polar as “highly televisual”. Rachel says it still needs representation / publication, but in the meantime can be found as an ebook at the link below. Rachel is currently polishing book 2, Gone for Good, and working on a teleplay of Back in 5. You can read more about Rachel’s work on the following links :-

ebooks: https://payhip.com/FiveByFiveBooks

Substack: https://fivebyfivetimes.substack.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/FiveByFiveTimes

A reminder that Rachel is editor-in-chief at Bylines Cymru, and welcome pitches anytime to editor@bylines.cymru.